Dear Molly, My boyfriend gets frustrated …

Hi! So lately (in the past 3 months) my boyfriend has been getting really frustrated with me when we don’t have sex and I’m on my period. He’s been really stressed at work and I know that sex is a good way for him to decompress, but I don’t like to have sex when I’m on my period. I’ve tried to explain, but he doesn’t understand why it’s uncomfortable for me. Basically I’m looking for how can I explain this to him and how can I still support him when I’m on my period. Thank you!


Get a new boyfriend.

This guy doesn’t respect you and how you’re feeling. He wants to decompress? Go for a run. He “needs” to get off? Masturbate.

Sex with you is not a medication for his mental health and you don’t owe him that at all. Supporting him and subjecting yourself to his “needs” are two different things. Especially if you have said “No, this is uncomfortable for me” and he’s still pushing for it or throwing a temper tantrum? BYE. He is not worth your energy. Sex is fun, sex is a way to connect and play, but sex is not a need. You can go your whole life without it. It’s not a need, it’s a desire. And desires don’t come before needs.

I’ve had times in my life where my mental health and physical health made me completely uninterested in sex for six straight months. Do you know what my boyfriend did? SUPPORTED ME. He put me first because my need to have my feelings validated and supported outweighed his desire for a sexual release. A good partner will do that and it sounds like your boyfriend is doing the exact opposite. He’s making you feel guilty and that is bullshit.

On to the next, my love. He is not worth your time.





On Why: The Third Date Rule is Outdated

We’ve all heard it. I’m sure you’ve heard it. You may have even said it. “Don’t sleep with him on the first date.” Or maybe you have a third, fourth, or fifth date rule yourself. I’ve never understood this. It never aligned with any of my other beliefs about dating, sex, and feminism.

If you want to sleep with someone, and they want to sleep with you, then you should. Period. I don’t know when we decided that sex needed to be more complicated than two ready, willing, and consenting adults. We’ve cultivated the idea that sex is currency within a relationship, something that you can exchange to get your husband to do chores around the house. Something you give out for good behavior and withhold for bad behavior. Dating and relationships are not a game to be won and your partner is not a pet to be trained.

Within dating, we have this idea that if you sleep with someone on the first date that they will never call you again. (“Date” in this case means an actual date, not meeting someone in a bar and going home together. That’s a different conversation altogether…) While there are some people who will take you to dinner all with the hope of sleeping together, in my experience, in talking with friends, in talking with you all, I haven’t found that to be true of most people.

Sex on the first date can turn into a marriage (like in the case of my friend Hannah), or a five and a half year relationship (like me), or nothing. To say that someone who you sleep with on the first date will never call you again is a conclusion based on the premise that all that person wanted was to sleep with you. People who only want sex troll bars, they don’t take you out for a $100 dinner. People who take you out want to get to know you. If someone doesn’t call you again after a first date where you slept together it’s much more likely that they just weren’t into you. You weren’t being used, you just didn’t mentally matchup.

I’m not encouraging you to sleep with everyone on a first date, I’m saying that if you want to – do it and if you don’t – don’t. Withholding sex on the first date (when you want to) to get more dates with someone isn’t a healthy way to look at sex within dating. Physical contact and intimacy are the foundation of relationships, don’t turn them into a competition.

The biggest thing I want you to take away is this: Have sex. Have lots of sex. Or have no sex. Have phone sex before regular sex. Have sex before you’re dating. Have sex on the first date. Have it when you want, how you want. Don’t let the social norm of a third date rule prevent you from going for it.


And as a special treat for those of you who read this far down: I asked you all on IG if you have a third date rule for sex and here are the results that were VERY split along gender lines…

34% of people DO have a third date rule when it comes to sex, of that group 11% were women

66% of people DON’T have a third date rule when it comes to sex, of that group 92% were women

On Why: You Should Know More About Condoms

With more than 18 billion condoms used each year, it’s time you knew what’s in them.



Quick history lesson

Please grant my degree in Anthropology a moment to shine…

Homo Sapiens, the only extant hominids, are dated as far back as 150,000 years ago. Condoms have been around nearly 13,000 years. The most common materials for condoms (pre 19th century) were linen or animal intestines. During the Bronze Age (c. 3100–300 B.C.E. in Asia Minor) wealthy men wore gilded condoms made of tortoise shells, gold, silver, and silk. In 1000 C.E., Ancient Egyptians protected themselves from diseases like bilharzia by using linen sheaths. With the rise of syphilis in Europe in the 16th-century, the first chemical-soaked condom emerged. (Shout out to Gabriele Falloppio for creating the first condom known to prevent STDs!) It was a linen sheath, tied with a ribbon, and used to combat the spread of disease rather than to prevent pregnancy.

Ironic that while the first known use of chemicals in condoms was to prevent disease, modern condoms now contain chemicals that are known to cause disease.


What’s a modern condom made of?

Ask just about anyone what a condom is made of and the first thing they’ll probably say is “latex” or “rubber”. Okay, great … but what is in the latex and rubber? Charles Goodyear (yep, the tire man) vulcanized rubber in 1839 and the first rubber condoms were on the market by 1855. Creating these rubber condoms relied on the use of gasoline and benzene to suspend the rubber and bind it with sulfur.

Latex condoms came a little later, in 1920. Their popularity is attributed to two main factors: creating them didn’t involve the use of gasoline and benzene which removed the fire hazard for factory workers and the stretch made them *essentially* one size fits all.

As condoms have developed and gained in popularity there are four major components of them that can harm a woman’s health. I’d like to acknowledge that, yes, the exposure to these chemicals via condoms is minimal. But it’s exposure nonetheless, in an incredibly absorbant, sensitive, intimate place and that deserves notice and prevention. It should also be noted that many scientists believe that while small levels of chemicals are able to be processed by the body, it’s the cumulative exposure from multiple points that causes the greatest risk, which is why they should be regulated at all levels.


… where is the list of ingredients?


The ingredients to avoid and why –

  • Nitrosamines. Nitrosamines are a byproduct of creating synthetic latex. They have been linked to tumor growth (specifically both stomach and colon cancer). The World Health Organization (WHO) has been encouraging condom companies to remove Nitrosamines since 2010 as they serve no purpose in the condom’s function and are known carcinogens. They are used to accelerate the latex forming process and save companies money.
  • Nonoxynol-9. Nonoxynol-9 or N-9 is a chemical included in condoms as a spermicide and lubricant. While effective for killing sperm cells and STDs the issue comes with the fact that N-9 cannot distinguish between sperm cells and cells along the vagina and rectal wall. Ironically, in the long-term, the destruction of these cells (vagina and rectal) can increase the chance of contracting an STD or urinary tract infection. *Please note that N-9 is the only spermicide available in the U.S.*
  • Glycerine (or Glycerol). When left in the body too long Glycerine breaks down into Glycerol (sugar). This can throw off the vagina’s pH, increasing the chances of contracting a yeast infection. Flavored condoms have a higher likelihood of containing Glycerine to sweeten them and are not meant to be used vaginally.
  • Parabens. Parabens are mostly used as a chemical preservative to prevent bacterial growth. You can find them across the board in cosmetics and pharmaceuticals (again, only in the U.S. as they are banned in the EU). Parabens are believed to be an endocrine disrupter and have been linked to breast cancer and lowering sperm count in men. This is likely because they have a chemical structure similar to estrogen and can mimic the effects of estrogen in the body.


All condoms are not made equal

Research your options when it comes to condoms and feel comfortable saying “No” to any that don’t disclose their ingredients or contain the chemicals listed above. The choice should never be between sex without a condom v sex with a condom that contains ingredients you aren’t comfortable with. There are great companies, like Sustain and Maude (aff code: WITHMOLLY for 10% off), that list their ingredients so you can check if they contain nitrosamines, glycerin, N-9, etc.

  • Common Argument #1: Specialty condoms are too expensive.
  • Common Argument #2: It’s just more convenient to buy condoms from the pharmacy.
    • I agreed with you, it definitely is. But it doesn’t have to be. Backing companies that promote safe, female-centric products is how those companies grow. And if you are truly a forgetful person and worry about forgetting to order more Maude has a subscription service that can automatically send you new condoms every 30, 60, or 90 days depending on your needs. And utilizing that service lowers the cost to $10.80. And using my code WITHMOLLY will get you an additional 10% off.


And as always

  • Practice safe-sex methods. This article is not meant to scare or deter you from using condoms. Condoms are an important part of safe-sex practices and should absolutely be used.
  • Be mindful of your condoms expiration date and do not use expired condoms.
  • Store your condoms away from direct sunlight and avoid exposing them to extreme temperatures at this can degrade the latex.


make believe: a clean break {83 Songs for Every Type of Breakup}

Sometimes you want to cry in bed for days, sometimes you want to celebrate a new era of time with your girlfriends, and sometimes you want to set his car on fire. Breakups come in all shapes and sizes and luckily for us, there’s a song for each one.

Scroll through the best breakup songs below, visit the playlist on Spotify, or tap one of the options below to jump to the type of break up you’re going through.

Don’t see a type of breakup song that you need? Shoot me a DM over IG or via the contact page.


When You Need To Cry It Out

Embracing the Breakup / Moving On


Mutual / Accepting

Leaving Him

Putting Yourself First

He Missed Out On Something Good

Fuck Him / Angry Ones / Raging with Your Girlfriends

He Goes Back to His Girlfriend

He Leaves You / Moves On to Someone Else

Ending Things With a Fuqboi

He Cheats on You

He Tries to Get You Back, but Let’s Face It, He Sucks



When You Need To Cry It Out

essentials: a best friend on speed dial, one too many glasses of wine, the willpower not to show up at his doorstep, extra soft tissues, a clean shower for all your dramatic slide-down-the-wall-cry-on-the-floor vibes


Bruises – Lewis Capaldi

vibe: Willing all the memories to stay after someone you love deeply leaves. Sad, weepy, deep mourning over lost love with very sexy male vocals.

lyrics of note: “I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind / But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind” … “Your love I’m lost in / Even though I’m nothing to you now”

Good as You Were Bad – Jana Kramer

vibe: Losing someone you feel is “perfect” despite all his flaws and how he treated you.

lyrics of note: “I’ve never been held the way you held me / And I’ve never been hurt the way you hurt me / I could handle this pain, forget your name / If you hadn’t loved me like you had”

Stay – Shaun Reynolds, Laura Pringle

vibe: Duet cover of Rihanna’s song, so you get both male and female vocals throughout. It’s more of a love song, but the chorus line of wanting someone to stay will make you cry, even if you’re in a happy relationship.

lyrics of note: “Not really sure how to feel about it / Something in the way you move / Makes me feel like I can’t live without you / Yeah, it takes me all the way / I want you to stay”

Shed Your Love – The Helio Sequence

vibe: Grow into your own and losing a love along the way.

lyrics of note: “Fell off of the plane in Amsterdam / Shop the streets to find out who I am” … “Home again to find that you were gone / On a subway train before the dawn / Said that you couldn’t stay and wait for me”

Let Her Go – Passenger

vibe: The song we all wish he was thinking after breaking out hearts. Live in the fantasy that he’s having serious regret for 4:12.

lyrics of note: “Staring at the ceiling in the dark / Same old empty feeling in your heart / Love comes slow and it goes so fast”

Crowded Places – BANKS

vibe: Processing the pain of putting yourself out there and loving someone, who runs scared from you.

lyrics of note: “Remember when I loved you right before that tour? / You said you didn’t want to see me anymore / And then when I got home when I played that show in L.A / All your shit was gone / It was the only time I thought I’d made a mistake”

I’ll Be There Where the Heart Is – Kim Carnes

vibe: Loving someone despite them not loving you. It’s a very different vibe than today’s love songs in that you get slidey synth instead of acoustic, but the lyrics will bring the heavy feels. 1980s pop, love ballad from Flashdance.

lyrics of note: I lie awake at night / And I wonder how you are / And I wish that I could be you again”


Embracing the Breakup / Moving On

essentials: a stiff cocktail, the self-control to not cut yourself bangs, Sex and the City movie


Over You – Kasbo, Frida Sundemo

vibe: The mantra you keep repeating to yourself as you try to move on. Solid beat. Even if you aren’t “over him” this song might convince you that you are.

lyrics of note: “Yeah, I’m over you / Or at least I will be soon”

Remind Me To Forget – Kygo, Miguel

vibe: Focusing on the bad times instead of clingy to all the good memories. Very solid, uplifting beat with lyrics that are perfect for a “move on” feel.

lyrics of note: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you can keep my regret / Baby I got these scars, reminding me to forget”

Wild Horses – Birdy, Sam Feldt

vibe: You are a phoenix. You are rising strong. You are the ex comes out on top. Moving into a better phase of your life without begging for another chance.

lyrics of note: This can’t be love if it hurts so much / I need to let go / I will survive and be the one who’s stronger / I will not beg you to stay”

Little Bit Stronger – Sara Evans

vibe: Accepting that an on and off again relationship will never work and moving forward with more strength.

lyrics of note: “I’m not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer / I’m busy getting stronger / And I’m done hoping that we can work it out / I’m done with how it feels, spinning my wheels / Letting you drag my heart around” … “Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger”

Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye, Kimbra

vibe: Mourning and being upset over the loss of a friend, not just a relationship, in a breakup.

lyrics of note: “Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing / And I don’t even need your love / But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough”




essentials: a box of tissues, scrolling through old photos of you two before deleting them all, staying away from all his social media profiles


The Night We Met – Lord Huron

vibe: Soft memories of the first night with someone and only gently mentions how they grew apart.

lyrics of note: “I had all and then most of you / Some and now none of you / Take me back to the night we met”

11 Blocks – Wrabel

vibe: Having memories of your ex on every corner of the city after ending a 3-year relationship. It also touches on being in a new relationship and still thinking about the previous one.

lyrics of note: “11 blocks from my door to your doorstep / Three years later and it feels too close” … “And I met someone and I swear I’m in love / But I’m two blocks away and you’re just like a drug”

Saturdays – Twin Shadow, HAIM

vibe: The moment you’re with someone and the world starts ripping open and you’re falling through the cracks. Reminiscing on a relationship in the midst of it ending. It’s synthy, it’s slightly poppy with a great drum loop.

lyrics of note: “This could be the last time / That could be the fault line slipping away” … “Maybe we’re a fault line / Maybe we’re a fault line ready to break”

No One Compares To You – Jack & Jack

vibe: Comparing your current relationship and dating with a previous love and finding that no one else measures up.

lyrics of note: “I’m looking at her face but I’m seeing you / She’s sleeping on your side, what can I do / We should be heart to heart, my mind is on you” … “Every time I think I’ve found somebody / I just wish that somebody was you”

Great One – Jessie Reyez

vibe: Trying to move on from a previous relationship and become the best version of yourself, but finding yourself stuck in memories. Every time she hits “everything is nothing without you” you’ll feel your soul singing along and if you’re alone you probably will too.

lyrics of note: “What is life? What is love? / I hope I am enough / What is everything? / Everything is nothing without you”

Too Much To Ask – Niall Horan

vibe: Wishing you could see your ex again and that they would come running back to you. It’s definitely on the sadder side of reminiscent songs, but there’s something about “cause if I’m being honest I ain’t over you yet” that will give you a touch of nostalgia mixed with a need to move on.

lyrics of note: “My heart is hoping / You’ll walk right in tonight / And tell me there are things that you regret / ‘Cause if I’m being honest I ain’t over you yet”



Mutual / Accepting 

essentials: a clean-slate, fresh-start mindset, resisting the urge to “get coffee” like everything is normal, skipping the clichéd speech about how your friends don’t need to “pick sides” and instead, choosing to let things fall naturally


thank u, next – Ariana Grande

vibe: No hard feelings. Learning from heartache and moving forward.

lyrics of note: “I’ve loved and I’ve lost / But that’s not what I see / So, look what I got / Look what you taught me”

Happy Now – Kygo, Sandro Cavazzo

vibe: Sincerely wishing someone well after trying to make a failing relationship work. His confidence throughout plus Kygo’s beats will fill you with that for-the-best feeling.

lyrics of note: “Step by step, I’ll move on and get on with life / So I let go, and I hope you’ll be happy now / You and me, it was good, but it wasn’t right”

Over and Done With – The Proclaimers

vibe: Happy, slightly funny, and a very energetic take on the end of a relationship. Will 100% not make you cry. 🙂

lyrics of note: “This is the story of losing my virginity / I held my breath and the bed held a trinity” … “But sometimes it seems like / My sex life’s all history”

Let’s Hurt Tonight – OneRepublic

vibe: If this is going down we’re going down together. A final hash out of all the bad before deciding whether to cut things off or continue to try and make it work.

lyrics of note: “You came to me and said, ‘that’s enough'” … “Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes / They say love is pain, well darling, let’s hurt tonight”

Good For You – Peder Elias

vibe: Trying to let someone go who you still care for, accepting a breakup, and genuinely wishing them well as they move on.

lyrics of note: “I don’t wanna hear you say the words I’ve said to you / But I understand someday that I will too / So if you really love him / Baby, good for you”



Leaving Him

essentials: your stuff already packed in boxes, healthy boundaries, the ability to let yourself cry because you’re allowed to be hurting even if you ended it


No Going Back – Yuno

vibe: Saying goodbye, putting the past in the past, and doing a lil hair toss all at the same time with a v vibey beat.

lyrics of note: “Gave up my life for you / But now we’re through / I know there’s no going back from it baby / You’re nowhere I wanna be”

Too Young – ayokay & Baker Grace

vibe: Transcending a relationship. He gets needy, you need space, he wants to settle, you want to run.

lyrics of note: “Truth is you hold me back / Maybe I love you, I’m too young for that / And I know your expectations got me feeling trapped”

I Wish I Missed My Ex – Mahalia

vibe: You’re over him and he still blows up your phone.

lyrics of note: “I know how this goes / Talk about you need closure / Too many missed calls, too many texts / Damn, I wish I missed my ex”

You Don’t Do It For Me Anymore – Demi Lovato

vibe: Self-mourning for all the time wasted on him.

lyrics of note: “I see the future without you” / The hell was I doing in the past?” … “No, you don’t do it for me anymore”

Settle – Vera Blue

vibe: Not settling, moving forward, and finding all the best parts of yourself along the way. V moody and indie.

lyrics of note: “I am alive and I won’t settle / Move on, and up / Now that I’ve found my way back from you”

Last Night – GRAACE

vibe: Guilty conscience over hurting someone and leaving in a relationship. Leaving isn’t only a happy, positive experience, and this is the song to comfort the person who walks away.

lyrics of note: “And I blinded you ’cause I loved your eyes / And I took your voice ’cause I love to lie / And I weighed you down, so I learned to fly / Last night I made you cry”

I Love You, But I Need Another Year – Liza Anne

vibe: Leaving someone because you aren’t ready to commit or have your own shit to work through.

lyrics of note: “Stay here / I know I love you, but I need another year / I don’t wanna drag you through it”



Putting Yourself First

essentials: a new hobby you always wanted to try, a solo night out at your favorite bar, any book by Brené Brown


Nights Like This – Kehlani, Ty Dolla $ign

vibe: Heavy dose of accepting a relationship is over even if you don’t want it to be. Acknowledging that you need to move on.

lyrics of note: “On some nights like this, I just wanna text you, but for what? / You gon’ say you want me, then go switch it up”

GIRL – Maren Morris

vibe: You best friend telling you to get up, dust yourself off, and move on.

lyrics of note: “What you feel is natural / You don’t gotta put up with this anymore / Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor / Tell me what you waitin’ for?”

Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld

vibe: Putting yourself first and foremost in terms of a relationship and sex. Definitely the song if you think that hooking up with an ex won’t be messy.

lyrics of note: “Feeling good on my own without you / Got me speaking in tongues / The beautiful, it comes without you / I’m gonna put my body first / And love me so hard ’til it hurts”

Whistle (While You Work It) – Katy Tiz

vibe: Smiling, keeping your head up, and working through all the tough shit. Applies to post-breakup and life in general. I think we can all relate to the need to “smile while you’re hurting”.

lyrics of note: “Brush it off / I will never let this shit weigh me down / Don’t cry, dry your eyes / Keep your chin up and leave it all behind”

The Wild One (single version) – Suzi Quatro

vibe: Few beers deep, dance in your kitchen, air guitar, hair flips, use the bottle as a microphone song. Suzi Quatro is the OG of strong, woman vibes.

lyrics of note: “I’m a red hot fox / I can take the knocks / I’m a hammer from hell / Honey, can’t you tell? / I’m the wild one”

I Look So Good (Without You) – Jessie James Decker

vibe: The glowy, good feeling of being newly single. Could also fall under embracing the breakup too, but I feel like this one is more “you” centric than “relationship” centric and for that reason it’s here.

lyrics of note: “Standin’ in front of the mirror / My clothes never fit better / My laughs never been louder / I look so good without you”



He Missed Out On Something Good

essentials: splurging on a sexy new pair of heels and or leather pants, a fun day out with your friends doing something active and competitive so you remember the bad bitch you are


It Ain’t Me – Kygo, Selena Gomez

vibe: Too bad, you missed out. Leaving and moving on from the guy who did all the taking and none of the giving in a relationship.

lyrics of note: “Who’s waking up to drive you home when you’re drunk and all alone? / Who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning? / It ain’t me”

Good as Hell – Lizzo

vibe: Obviously this one needed to be on here. Lizzo will be your best friend with a bottle of tequila and the move on with your head held high mindset.

lyrics of note: “If he don’t love you anymore / Just walk your fine ass out the door”

She’s So Gone – Naomi Scott

vibe: Celebrating a newfound version of you, post-breakup. And yes, it’s a Disney song.

lyrics of note: “And I’m stronger than you ever thought I’d be / Are you shocked? / Are you mad? / That you’re missing out on who I really am”

Your Side of The Bed – Loote

vibe: The voicemail you left on your ex’s cell about giving all your love and attention to someone new.

lyrics of note: “Everyone says that you’re better off / No, you don’t believe em'” … “I got me someone else instead / He’s taking your side of the bed”

Never Again – Kelly Clarkson

vibe: Taking jabs at him and his new girlfriend. The lyrics to really belt are definitely in the chorus. Could fall under fuck him angry ones too.

lyrics of note: “Does it hurt? To know I’ll never be there / But it sucks to see my face everywhere / It was you who chose to end it like you did”



Fuck Him / Angry Ones / Raging with Your Girlfriends

essentials: the wildest group of girls you can physically fit into one room, several bottles of José silver, thigh-high leather boots that make you feel sexy as fuck, strong Mrs. Smith vibes


Bad Girls – M.I.A.

vibe: Channeling your inner biker girl. Trust me, the breakup will be out of your mind by the end of this one.

lyrics of note: “Live fast, die young / Bad girls do it well” … “Leavin’ boys behind ’cause it’s legal just to kill”

I Don’t Fuck With You – Big Sean, E-40

vibe: He says a variation of “I don’t give a fuck about you” over 50 times. It’s a winner.

lyrics of note: “Don’t give a fuck about you or anything that you do / I heard you got a new man, I see you takin’ a pic / Then you post it up, thinkin’ that it’s makin’ me sick”

I Can Hold a Grudge Like Nobody’s Business – Adam Jensen

vibe: I didn’t forget what you did. Don’t fuck with me. Grungy, dirty, dark, heavy, a lil crazy, and all good.

lyrics of note: “You got me actin’ like the old me, but you don’t even know me / Can I get a witness? / Cause I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business”

Bad Girls – Pussy Riot, Dave Sitek, Desi Mo

vibe: Sharpening knives and hyping with the girls as you plot his murder.

lyrics of note: “A good girl never had penetration / A bad girl leave a hard dick waiting” … “Bad girls club and no you can’t sit with me / Well behaved women seldom make history / It’s not a mystery but if you really want to get to me / Don’t bring no glass slippers, Cinderella wasn’t shit to me”

Manhunt – Karen Kamon

vibe: Switching up the vibe from defense to offense and putting yourself aggressively out there. Another gem from Flashdance.

lyrics of note: “I’m goin’ on a manhunt, turn it around / Women have been hunted, now they’re huntin’ around”

Boss Ass Bitch – Ptaf

vibe: V V V NSFW, but V V V V V V V V solid for girls night.

lyrics of note: “I’m a boss ass bitch”

Me & My Girls – Selena Gomez

vibe: Girls night out when you all have zero interest in guys or meeting someone and are there for each other.

lyrics of note: “I know we’re making you thirsty / You want us all in the worst way / You don’t understand / I don’t need a man”

Crying in the Club – Camila Cabello

vibe: Seeing your recently dumped friend start to get emotional when you’re out drinking and dragging her to the bathroom for a pep talk. You can even blot her tears to the beat.

lyrics of note: “You think, that you’ll die without him / You know, that’s a lie that you tell yourself” … “Let the beat carry away, your tears as they fall, baby / Ain’t no crying in the club”

BIG BANK – 2 Chainz, Big Sean, Nicki Minaj

vibe: Not about a breakup at all, but the vibe is heavy with “fuck you, I’m the best” and if you and your friends need a song to get hyped to during a pregame I’d put this on.

lyrics of note: “Lames can’t call and you a lame / You had it then you lost it, hall of shame / I can buy a Bentley, don’t talk to me”



He Goes Back to His Girlfriend

essentials: a non-judgmental best friend, the realization that you were never in competition with his girlfriend, respect for his choice, a karaoke bar and the confidence to belt your favorite song to a room of strangers


NUMB – Hayden James, GRAACE

vibe: Wishing you could feel nothing instead of everything for someone who already has their person.

lyrics of note: “I saw it coming soon / ‘Cause when you looked at me she would look at you / Say ‘it’s you not me’ / ‘Cause that’s my favorite part”

Girl Crush – Little Big Town

vibe: Comparing yourself to the one he’s with and wishing that you could be like her, just to better fit the person he wants to be with. Slow and a little bit weepy. Not how you should feel, but definitely how you might feel.

lyrics of note: “I want to drown myself in a bottle of her perfume / I want her long blonde hair, I want her magic touch / Yeah, ’cause maybe then you’d want me just as much”

Stay – Sugarland

vibe: Wishing he’d stay with you instead of returning home to her. Ends with a power move, putting yourself back in the driver’s seat and pushing him out of your life. lyrics of note: “What do I have to do to make you see / She can’t love you like me? / Why don’t you stay?”

Blood In The Cut – K.Flay, Aire Atlantica

vibe: Suffering in silence when the one you love is with someone else. Too many good lines in this one, plus the overall dark, grungy energy makes it perfect.

lyrics of note: “All I do is pretend to be ok so my friends can’t see my heart in the blender / Lately, I’ve been killing all my time / Reading through your messages my favorite way to die”



He Leaves You / Moves On to Someone Else

essentials: a blanket fort in which you are the queen and no one can enter unless you allow it, cookie dough – baked into cookies or raw, it’s your call, Dior Iconic Waterproof mascara, several rounds of “I’m actually doing great” practice before returning to groups that know you all broke up


I Wanna Know – NOTD, Bea Miller

vibe: Wishing you could get over someone and having a list of questions comparing how you all were with how he is with his new girlfriend that you both want and never want to be answered.

lyrics of note: “Does she move your body? / Like I moved your body? / ‘Cause I wanna know”

Do You Think About Me – Captain Cuts, Zookëper, Georgia Ku

vibe: Trying to keep someone out of your mind when all you can think of is wondering if they’re thinking of you.

lyrics of note: “Don’t know why I ever thought it’d be easy / Second guessing only leads to regret / Out of sight, out of mind then it hits me”

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) – Adele

vibe: A positive take on being left when he just couldn’t keep up and chose to be with someone else.

lyrics of note: “I’m giving you up / I’ve forgiven it all / You set me free”

She’s Got You – Patsy Cline

vibe: Losing someone, looking around and just seeing a collection of their memories. Heartache has always been around and this 1960s classic is the perfect proof of that. It also mildly makes me think of the heartache my grandmother and mother went through at different times in their lives. Life turned out wonderful for them – it will for you too.

lyrics of note: “The only thing different / The only thing new / I’ve got your picture, she’s got you”

Shout Out To My Ex – Little Mix

vibe: Truly not caring when he moves on because you already have.

lyrics of note: “Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man / You made my heart break and that made me who I am”



Ending Things With a Fuqboi

essentials: hair toss, the biggest shrug you can muster, figuring out if you need time to yourself or to find someone new


Undrunk – FLETCHER

vibe: Wishing you could go back and undo all the feelings, memories, time spent on someone.

lyrics of note: “Wish I could get a little un-drunk so I could un-call you / At five in the morning, I would un-fuck you /  But some things you can’t undo”

Dead – Madison Beer

vibe: Dealing with a guy who says he loves you and that you are everything, but won’t commit.

lyrics of note: “You could be here but you’re not, I give whatever you want / But you just take it and run” … “You say you can’t live without me / So why aren’t you dead yet?”

Candles – Daughter

vibe: Soft, slow, and self-mourning as you distance yourself from someone that you love, but who doesn’t want to commit and be with you.

lyrics of note: “I’ll never be a lover / I only bring the heat / Company undercover / Filling space in your sheets”

I Don’t Even Care About You – MISSIO

vibe: Putting your emotions in a box, putting that box in a box, putting that box in a box… Flipping between being depressed, angry, not giving a fuck about someone. Dark, deep, alt-electronic with a whistly vibe.

lyrics of note: “I can do without your false curiosities / Angry again / No, I don’t wanna have a conversation with you / Angry again / Let me sit alone with the kerosene”

Fuqboi – Hey Violet

vibe: Not falling for all the bullshit, chichéd one-liners, and false consideration that a fuqboi will give you.

lyrics of note: “You’re a fuqboi / I’ve been through it before / I’d rather cut out my tongue / Then let you kiss me with yours”

Don’t Call Me Up – Mabel

vibe: Swearing off a fuqboi and realizing your strength in walking away from whatever you got from that fuqboi-ship.

lyrics of note: “Don’t call me up / I’m going out tonight / Feeling good now you’re outta my life” … “My friends said you were a bad man / I should have listened to them back then”

IDGAF – Dua Lipa

vibe: There’s nothing he could say to change your mind. You’re over him. You have iron-will. Very strong sing-with-a-girlfriend-in-her-apartment vibes, and I have.

lyrics of note: “So save it, get gone, shut up / ‘Cause if you think I care about you now / Well, boy, I don’t give a fuck”

Ugly Heart – G.R.L.

vibe: Being into a super hot guy who just sucks. Packing away all your superficial emotions about how gorgeous he is, realizing that underneath it all he WILL hurt you, and using that to put yourself first and protect yourself.

lyrics of note: “Okay you’re pretty / Your face is a work of art / Your smile could light up New York City after dark” … “But it’s such a pity a boy so pretty / With an ugly heart”

Fuck Feelings – Olivia O’Brien

vibe: Fuck feelings. Fuck catching feelings. Fuck having feelings for someone who doesn’t have them for you.

lyrics of note: “Fuck feelings, swear that shit ruined my life / All they ever do is waste my time”



He Cheats on You

essentials: blocking him on social media, a clear and sober mind, best friends that will prevent you from turning around and going back, the realization that it is NOT your fault


You’re Such A – Hailee Steinfeld

vibe: Realizing that the fact that he would cheat puts him in a category of guy that you would never want to be with. Almost has a nursery rhyme vibe with a teasing, innocent, but slightly “are you fucking kidding me?” mix.

lyrics of note: “‘Cause you had your chance and you blew it” … “Did you think that I would let you crawl right back into my bedroom? / After everything we’ve been through / I know the truth / That, damn, you’re such a … difficult little devil”

Alarm – Anne-Marie

vibe: Getting involved with a cheater and receiving the exact same treatment. You were the other woman, he left her for you, and he is still texting her.

lyrics of note: “I should’ve known a cheat stays a cheater / So here we are / And there goes the alarm ringing in my head” … “But I was so intrigued by your style, boy / I always been a sucker for a wild boy / I’m better than this, I know my worth”

Should’ve Said No – Taylor Swift

vibe: He acts like it was a one time mistake when what he should have done was v simple. The OG “he cheated” song from when Taylor Swift was still a country singer.

lyrics of note: “You shouldn’t be begging for forgiveness at my feet / You should’ve said no, baby and you might still have me / I can’t resist, before you go, tell me this / Was it worth it?”

FU – Miley Cyrus

vibe: Kissing his ass goodbye the second you find out about her.

lyrics of note: “I don’t really have much to say / I was over it the second that I saw her name”

I’m Not The Only One – Sam Smith

vibe: Being heartbroken after finding out that all your suspicions were right. Being cheated on during a long-term relationship.

lyrics of note: “I have loved you for many years / Maybe I am just not enough / You’ve made me realize my deepest fear / By lying and tearing us up”

Better Man – Little Big Town

vibe: Putting yourself first and knowing that he’s not good enough for you, but wishing that he was.

lyrics of note: “I see the permanent damage you did to me / Never again, I just wish I could forget when it was magic” … “Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again / But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man”

two nights – Lykke Li, Aminé

vibe: The very moment you know that cheating is happening. Sad, dark, and deep.

lyrics of note: “Nobody else / You say there’s no one but I can tell / Why can’t you need me and nothin’ else?” … “I left all the lights on / I been sleepin’ with no clothes on / You never came home / Two nights in a row, where’d you go?”

Somebody Else – VÉRITÉ

vibe: Hating to see someone you care about be with someone else, even if you don’t want to be with them. V applicable when, after being cheated on, you want to leave them, but also hate to see them with someone new.

lyrics of note: “I start to believe in anything you’re sayin’ / I’m reminded that I should be gettin’ over it / I don’t want your body / But I hate to think about you with somebody else”



He Tries to Get You Back, but Let’s Face It, He Sucks

essentials: your middle finger held v high, if he cheated on you, one or two petty laughs at his expense, a best friend to prevent you from letting him in your life again if you consider going back


Tired of Talking – LÉON

vibe: Being done with the “let’s talk this out”s and moving on from a love that took your love for granted.

lyrics of note: “‘Cause I’ve been nothing but good to you / You’re howlin’ into the night won’t do” … “Get out the door and disappear / When you get home I won’t be here / Don’t act surprised as if you cared”

Hurts Like Hell – Madison Beer, Offset

vibe: Wishing someone feels every drop of regret after leaving you for someone else.

lyrics of note: “My baby’s all alone in his bed  / Fingertips on the edge / He left me for a girl / But he regrets leaving me” … “You shoulda never let me go / I know I’m messing up your mind / The devil got you good this time”

If You’re Over Me – Years & Years

vibe: Running out of patience for a guy who plays you hot and cold.

lyrics of note: “You tell everyone our love went cold / Going around, spreading the word, it’s over / If that’s how you feel then you should go / Don’t come around saying, ‘I still want you'” … “Yesterday you said I’m the one / But now you say you’re done / Stop telling me what I need”

it’s not u it’s me – Bea Miller, 6LACK

vibe: Casting out a guy who was just a rebound, temporary, or someone you were just playing around with.

lyrics of note: “Your distractions were exactly what I needed / Now I see the truth / It’s not you, it’s me / I’m the only one I need”

Old Love / New Love – Twin Shadow

vibe: White knuckling your will not to return to an ex when you really want to, but know it would be terrible for you.

lyrics of note: “An old love called me yesterday / And she sounds so sweet / Why, she sounds so… / Drill me to the floor / This hurts even more than I expected it to do”

Low Blows – Meg Mac

vibe: When he comes back after completely crushing you, taking your friends, time, and hitting you with so many low blows.

lyrics of note: “Baby, I have nothing left / You took my money and you took my friends back” … “Low blows, man up
It’s all good, man up / ‘Cause I don’t say much when I don’t like it / But I don’t like it and I never liked it like that”

Really Don’t Care – Demi Lovato, Cher Lloyd

vibe: There’s nothing he can do that will bring you back because you are 100% over him.

lyrics of note: “I never want you back into my life / You can take your words and all your lies / I really don’t care”




Keep your head up, ladies. Breakups are part of the risk of dating and if you don’t embrace the risk you’ll never get the reward.


Simple Loving: A Modern, Sexual Wellness Company

A few months ago I did a mini-review of maude and their modern ethos of “sex made simple”. I touched on their condoms, massage candle, and (most importantly) vibrator. Today we’re going to dive a little deeper and I’ll give you my final thoughts after playing around with their products for a little while.


The blog

The first thing I want to highlight about maude is my favorite part, which is how accessible they make difficult sex-centric conversations through their blog, the maudern. Not only do they cover the fun topics (like camping sex and talking dirty), but they also have topics about the important (like consent and insecurities) and the more difficult to discuss (like open relationships and sexual fantasies). I think they do a fantastic job offering detailed insights on each post and highly encourage you to check it out.


The products


Small and incredibly powerful, but still quiet? Dream combination. There are three speeds, it’s latex-free, and completely water-proof (so you can get as adventurous as you’d like). The best part of the vibe is, in addition to it’s intensity, the ease of use. This makes it an ideal partner tool as the learning curve is super low. It’s very “point and shoot” if you know what I mean. If you’ve never brought a toy into the bedroom with your partner, make this the first one. The last thing I will note is that because it has such a strong vibration you may want to start slow if it’s your first vibe.




Think that a little romance and kink don’t go together? Guess again. Why I ever thought that a massage candle would go to waste is beyond me. I love this little guy. Light it, wait a few minutes, and you have a brand new way to mix things up. The scent is unreal. The oil is soft, a little slippery, and is absorbed at a nice pace. You won’t need to constantly relight the candle to get more oil and you also won’t end up covered in a film. You can use it as a massage oil before sex or during sex for a little temperature play. And if dripping hot oil on your partner isn’t your thing it will still set the mood with it’s “warming notes of amber, cedar leaf, lemongrass, tonka bean and medjool date”.



shine – organic  /  shine – silicone

It’s time to upgrade your lube. If you still think that picking up lube from CVS is hot, that a snap-open top is helping the mood, or that using lube means your partner isn’t turned on enough, it’s time to wake up. Lube should be in everyone’s sex drawer. High-quality* lube. I absolutely love Shine, the product and design. Design is everything and when the mood strikes no one likes to be fumbling with a little snap-open tube. Shine comes in both siliconeand organic so you can opt for the slippier silicone option or organic to use with toys (remember that silicone lubes can degrade silicone products).




The is the most perfect packaging I have ever seen for a condom. With their buttercup style opening you don’t have to rip them open with your teeth and I think we all know how irritating it can be, in the heat of the moment, to sit there and watch him fumble with the little foil packet.

The condoms themselves are FDA-approved, fragrance-free, latex-free and incredibly smooth. They have a velvety, second-skin feel and are lubricated with a silicone lubricant. The only drawback I found was that the size is not ideal for your more well-endowed partners. If you typically shop for Magnums XL condoms you may find them a little too constricting.


Final thoughts

maude is one of the first sex companies I’ve seen that feels like they are here for you and your sexual experience, not just to sell you a product. They offer a subscription service so you don’t need to worry about remembering to pick up more condoms, have tons of sex-positive resources on the maudern, and are sincerely simplifying sex.


maude generously sent me the products reviewed, however, they did not sponsor this post and all thoughts are my own.

all images courtesy of

Mess-Free Period Sex? A Review of Intimina’s Ziggy Cup

A few weeks ago I published my experience using menstrual cups. They are my favorite method for when I’m on my period and when I heard about another Intimina product, the Ziggy cup, I was very excited to try it out. This is a menstrual disk worn just below your cervix, tucked behind your pubic bone and because of it’s placement can be worn during sex. MESS. FREE. PERIOD. SEX. There are about zero reasons to avoid sex when on your period, but some people are very squeamish about blood and it can definitely be a mental hurdle for the woman menstruating. A disk can alleviate these obstacles and make period sex more accessible for many couples.




The second mine arrived I was psyched. Putting it in was a different process than with a menstrual cup. I’m very comfortable putting in a cup and initially wasn’t worried about the process, especially since these disks are worn just under the cervix and I typically tuck my cup high around my cervix in a very similar position. However, I found that because it’s a different angle, it’s much larger, it’s placed deeper. It also only comes in one size and I found that it was a little too long for my anatomy. I did manage to shift it into position (tucked up behind my pubic bone) and couldn’t feel it at all (a good sign!).



One, it was definitely noticeable when he was fingering me, it blocked my A spot and put pressure on my G spot in a way that did not add to the experience. Two, we quickly found that the ability to have sex with it is highly dependent on the size of your partner. We both agree that if you need larger condoms you will be able to feel the disk during sex. I will note if your partner doesn’t typically get deep enough to hit your cervix you may be fine with the Ziggy cup! Three, the stress of getting the disk in and out doesn’t add to the sex appeal of it. With the size of my anatomy, I don’t anticipate it getting much easier. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend this if you are newer to cups as getting it into place is less intuitive than placing a cup. When putting in a cup you can place it in a similar position to a tampon, but a disk sits in a very different position.

While I can still see myself reaching for the Ziggy cup as an occasional alternative to my Lily Compact, I don’t see myself relying on it for period sex. I would have rather have sex normally and done the classic “lay-down a towel” method.


*photos courtesy of,*